For the Woman whose tired of being tired
〰️ For the Woman Whose Ready to shed the weight ~
~For The Woman Who wants to enjoy sex again~
~For the Woman who wants to feel in control of her emotions ~
For the Woman whose tired of being tired 〰️ For the Woman Whose Ready to shed the weight ~ ~For The Woman Who wants to enjoy sex again~ ~For the Woman who wants to feel in control of her emotions ~
Here's the tea 🫖 as to why you can do "all the right things" like eat clean, workout, walk 10,000 steps, prioritize sleep and take all the supplements, yet still not feel good in your body...
It's called a Cortisol Imbalance & it's f*cking annoying when left unchecked.
Social media & the medical field will try to gaslight you. Tell you that you're not doing enough. That you need to work out more. That it's just "bad genetics." That you need to eat cleaner. Eat less. Sleep more. Drink more water. Take this magic supplement. Take that magic supplement. Journal more. Meditate daily. Stop drinking coffee. Have a 13 hour morning routine. Quit your job.
They'll tell you to do crazy, unrealistic, unsustainable & stressful shit.
Shit that both you & I couldn't ever think to keep up with. We have busy fucking lives. We don't have control over how our mornings go because we have others that rely on us. We can't just drop our schedules and white them out. We can't go buy all organic food and we can't do MORE than we are already doing.
Here's the secret that they won't tell you.
LESS IS MORE
&
Your Cortisol levels need to go to rehab.
Fuck, YOU need to go to rehab 😂 lol. Rehab for your mindset on your health, your nutrition, your movement, the way you regulate your nervous system... you're making everything so much harder & more complicated than it needs to be.
Let's simplify all of it so we can fix your Cortisol, so you can feel good in your skin, have energy, see the scale move & have it all feel doable.
CORTISOL REHAB ~
CORTISOL REHAB ~
RAISE YOUR HAND IF YOU'VE EVER FELT PERSONALLY VICTIMIZED BY YOUR CORTISOL 🫠👀🙋♀️
WANNA KNOW HOW CORTISOL IMBALANCES AFFECT YOU??? 👇
❌ Weight Gain (especially to the belly, hips & thighs)
❌ Inability to lose weight (your lower belly pouch + love handles feel like a stage 5 clingers)
❌ Hump to the back of your neck (not quite the lovely lady hump the black eyed peas sing about)
❌ Irritability & intense AF mood swings (hello random blow ups & rage storms)
❌ Moon Face (aka we no longer have a chin)
❌ Inflammation & swelling (why hello cankles)
❌ Bloating & IBS (hello random food intolerances)
❌ Exhaustion - morning, afternoon, evening (adulting feels extra heavy & impossible)
❌ Insomnia & difficulty falling asleep (you know the 10pm-3am phone scroll)
❌ Sugar Cravings (brownies, cookies & sweets oh my!)
❌ Low sex drive (aka sex feels like a chore these days)
Good News? 🗞 You don't have to deal with this shit 👆 anymore. We can fix all of these symptoms (legit) in 6 weeks or less with a proven protocol that will have you doing LESS than you are right now.
Dream with me for a hot second. Imagine...
Losing Weight while working out less & without doing any sort of math when it comes to your food.
Walking past mirrors while out in public and wanting to look at yourself in them because you feel so f*cking good in your body & skin.
Having those vagina 🐱 tingles again because your sex drive is back & you’re actually horny
Going to bed within 10-20minutes of climbing into bed instead of tossing and turning
Sleeping through the entire night without your body waking you up at 3am randomly
Going through your entire day feeling energized, having motivation do to more than just the bare minimum in your life + having energy to spend time with your friends, go to the lake or park or even hit up a yoga class after a full day of adulting.
Slow sipping coffee in the morning and actually enjoying it versus downing multiple cups before leaving the house so you can somewhat function.
Feeling clear mentally, no more brain fog.
Having total control over your emotions all month long. No more overstimulation rage 😡 those piled up dishes won’t cause a complete Brittany circa 2008 breakdown anymore.
Having a LIFE again - instead of waking up and focusing on “just making it through the day” - you have hobbies, you enjoy your family, you go on adventures, you do date nights & outings. You get to live
^^^all of this is 100% possible for you & is waiting for youuu 💋
DO YOU WANT TO FIX YOUR CORTISOL EVEN FASTER? WITH MORE EASE? THAT WAY YOU CAN LOSE THE WEIGHT, DITCH THE FATIGUE, STABILIZE YOUR MOODS & CRANK UP YOUR SEX DRIVE EASIER?
Where you get everything you need to go alongside the protocol & let me melt away all the resistance for you? Where I can completely take away all of the mental load?
This Includes:
Cortisol Rehab Workouts (so you don’t have to youtube the entire time)
Somatic Exercises (so you don’t have to google this sh*t)
Neuro Reprogramming audios to remove all resistance & fear (so you can start + stick to it)
Hot Girl Cortisol Walk Audios (to help make your steps 10x more fun)
Introducing…
the CORTISOL REHAB PROTOCOL
The 6 Week Protocol to help you fix your cortisol levels so that you can:
✅ Drop the weight like it's hot 🥵
✅ Have energy all fucking day long (wake up to the first alarm & make it all day without hitting a wall)
✅ Feel good in your body & in your skin (no more avoiding the mirror while running into your shower)
✅ Sleep like the dead (let's be honest, babies don't sleep that well)
✅ Feel in total control of your moods, and actually feel happy & calm (even pre shark 🩸 week)
✅ Get your chin back 😉
✅ Wear the tight pants to dinner because you no longer bloat 10x the size after eating
✅ Climb your partner like a fucking tree 💦 and have fun with sex
Let's make your life spicy 🌶 , adventurous and playful again.
I decided to run a 12-Week experiment on myself & completely f*ck up my Cortisol after being 6 years balanced (even with PCOS) because I wanted to create a protocol that fixed this in as little as 6 weeks. To my surprise it didn’t even take the full 12 weeks to do this… my Cortisol levels were out of whack at week 8 of my experiment.
Now before we dig into the details, the facts, the "what's inside" - I want to tell you a quick lil' story.
For 8 Weeks I did “all the right things to lose weight” that I know *also* fuck up Hormones 😉 . So for 8 weeks I:
Ate In a Calorie Deficit
Focused On High Protein
Weight Lifted 4 Days/Week + Did 1 Spin Class or Form of Cardio per Week
Hit 10K Steps Daily
Focused on Whole Foods
Did an 80/20 Rule With Nutrition
And Guess What Happened?
I gained weight, hated how i felt in my body, was exhausted 24/7 & my sex drive plummeted. plus, i was irritable af.
In only 8 weeks I gained weight, I felt puffy, swollen & inflamed in my body, my clothes were fitting sooo tight, I was exhausted, I had ZERO energy - even after waking up from 8 hours of sleep. I was constantly asking my husband if I “looked like I gained weight”, I was so f*cking moody & irritable. I was crying randomly, I was anxious, I was craving sugar, having headaches and migraines, hearing ringing in my ears and my face became so swollen. I also was waking up at 3am EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.
And then, here’s the triggering part - i fixed it in only 3 weeks…
So how did I fix it so quickly?
Enter - My Cortisol Rehab Protocol.
Here’s My Personal Results Timeline:
At 7 Days I noticed less irritability + mood swings, I was sleeping better, generally feeling happier & I felt I had more energy.
At 14 Days I was sleeping THROUGH the night again (no more 3am wake ups), I was able to make it through my days without the midday slump, I was also waking up with energy. I also noticed a change in my clothes - they weren’t as tight.
At 21 Days my moon face disappeared (I have pics below for you), my clothes were looser than before I started the experiment, the cortisol belly + bloat was almost gone, I felt better in my body & OMG did my libido crank the f*ck up.
I developed this Framework based on research, data, evidence, critical thinking, my medical background as an RN + my background as Hormone Specialist… then I tested it on myself and some of my clients who wanted to be test subjects. And.. we all got results & FAST.
Best part? My clients were seeing similar results!
One client lost 3lbs in less than a week & had been stagnant for MONTHS.
Another client started sleeping through the night & had way more energy.
Another client was having sex almost daily & had 11 orgasms in 48 hours…
now to show you my results
During 8 Week Experiment 👇
👆 3 Weeks Of Protocol
During 8 Week Experiment 👇
👆 3 Weeks Of Protocol
During 8 Week Experiment 👇
👆 3 Weeks Of Protocol
I was absolutely BLOWN AWAY by how quickly my moon face shifted & the inflammation disappeared! My face swelling like it did & then in only a few weeks slimming the way it did - it felt like f*cking magic 🪄
There are 2 ways to snag this 😉 I’m all about giving you options.
Option 1 = Cortisol Rehab 🌶
This option is for my babe who is ready to jump in and get hand holding, try sh*t out and get results FAST. This gets you the protocol, tools to help out, 6 weeks of workouts to go alongside the protocol, 6 weeks of hot girl cortisol walk audios, 6 weeks of neuroreprograming audios that melt the pressure, resistance & fear you have around slowing down, losing momentum and being stuck in an all or nothing mindset. (aka rewire & un-fuck your mind and let me melt any resistance you currently have when it comes to health), AND get 6 weeks of Somatic Practices (let's release any stored trauma in a way that feels fun & simple).
Option 2 = The Wild Womb Collective (Which gets you Cortisol Rehab + Period Rehab 🥵)
This is the WHOLE ENCHILADA. It's the chips, the salsa, the guac AND the queso. This option gives you the full 6 weeks of neuroreprograming audios, workouts, hot girl cortisol walk audios + somatic practices. And as if that's not enough, you'll also get access to a community of other Women, cycle aware recipes, a place to drop any questions you have & get them answered by me personally + you'll get access to my other signature program, period rehab - which helps you fix all of your other Hormones (estrogen, progesterone + testosterone) so you can ditch PMS and have regular, pain free, chill ass periods that come and go and don't affect your life. Think of it like having access to a Hormone Specialist + Nurse on speed dial. This is a monthly membership that you can cancel at anytime :)
Now that you know why & how I built this bad b*tch of a protocol - let's talk about how you get to play!
💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋 💋
how do you want to play?
Option 1
$349
One time payment!
Cortisol rehab 🌶
You’ll receive instant access!
Option 2
$133
Pay In 3 Payment Plan
You’ll pay three monthly payments of $133. This is billed monthly x3 months.
Cortisol rehab 🌶
You’ll receive instant access!
Detailed BREAKDOWN OF YOUR OFFER 👇
This includes :
The Cortisol Rehab Protocol: I give you exactly what to do over the next 6 weeks to fix your Cortisol so you can lose weight, gain energy, sleep through the night, wake up with energy, boost your sex drive, feel confident in your skin again, actually like how you feel, ditch the irritability & mood swings and feel good in your body. Best part? They’re simple tweaks. There’s two “lists” a More Please & a No Thank You list. We do the things in the More Please list, and we stop the things in the No Thank You List for 6 weeks. It gets to be this simple.
Tools & Resources: You’ll get access to the tools & resources so you can start implementing the protocol ASAP. These look like PDFs, guides + images you can save to your phone to make it easy for you to access and use. Plus get access to everything inside your own client portal so you can navigate everything easily. On top of that, I went through each thing on the protocol & gave the WHY behind it all so you can actually understand how it all works.
6 Weeks of Somatic Practices to help release stored trauma, decrease cortisol levels & drop you out of fight or flight so you can have a regulated nervous system.
6 Weeks of The Cortisol Rehab Workout Program. This is a 4 day/week workout program that is pilates based, meaning it is low impact & can be done at home. This is designed to help you shed fat while regulating your cortisol levels. It was created using my Hormone Aware Fitness Framework. Delivered through my signature hormone aware fitness app: Wild Flow Fitness. You will receive a coupon code that will get you access to these workouts for free for a full month!
6 Weeks of Hot Girl Cortisol Walk audios. These are audios for you to pop in so you can go on your hot girl walks & grow your mindset, have fun & have me coaching you in your ear. My hot girl walks always consist of some kind of coaching material or podcast that expands my current perspective, challenges my mindset & puts me into a peak state. So, I decided why don’t I do exactly that for YOU!
6 Weeks of Neuro-Reprograming Audios. I use multiple modalities & channeling within these audios to help release & neutralize trauma, get rid of resistance & move through hard sht fast. These include different tools I became certified in years ago after using it to help me move through my own blocks. Best part of this? You just get to pop me into your ears & let me do all the heavy lifting for you. Some topics covered: releasing resentment & anger towards your body, neutralizing “this shouldn’t have happened” or “this shouldn't be happening” & neutralize the fear of doing less means another backslide and gaining weight.
CORTISOL Rehab 🌶
Client Wins
meet jasmine
Not only have I been where you are right now - lost, confused, frustrated, hopeless, out of control - struggling with PCOS & only being given the option of more pills and given zero information of what any of that even meant. I’ve also spent the last 5 years of my life dedicated to learning everything I can about HOLISTICALLY healing Hormones.
I have Bachelors in Nursing + have been a Registered Nurse for 8 years now working in the ER/Labor & Delivery/Postpartum/NICU - I’ve also gone back to school to specialize & become certified in Holistic Women’s Hormonal Health, PCOS, Birth Control, Nutrition, Intuitive Eating, Personal Training, Reiki, Pilates, Yoga, Mediation, Breath Work Rapid Resolution Therapy.
I’m also ALWAYS learning. I’m a huuuge nerd & 100% here to embrace that title. This means you get bonus material that could be in the form of a workshop, a guide, PDF, audio, etc. as I find new & better ways to heal.
I’m also not your conventional coach - I’m all about effective over “fluffy”, I swear like a sailor, I combine my background in Western Medicine with my background in Eastern Medicine & create a middle ground approach. I also see you as an entire human being with a whole ass life vs just a set of ovaries + a uterus. I want to save you money on groceries (so no - you don’t need to cut out foods, do elimination diets or buy only organic). I want to give you more time back in your life by taking away things you’re currently doing that are sabotaging your health. I also want it to be unique for YOU - so everything we do is not just a “cookie cutter” approach - it is flexible, adaptable + you have options, while also being guided through a step by step journey.
On top of that - I’ve helped 100+ Women Heal their Hormones in the last 2 years, holistically and now I’m ready to commit to helping 10x that. To create a massive shift & movement in Women’s Health - one where we no longer just accept shitty answers & shitty solutions. One where we stand up for ourselves and raise the future generations to ask for more & KNOW more about their bodies. This is so much bigger than just you & me.
If you want to hear my entire story just to see if I’m the one you want to embark on this journey with - head to my podcast & listen to my very first episode! Here’s the link: Click Here
Questions???
🫶 DM me here: https://www.instagram.com/theuterusalchemist/
😘 Email me here: theuterusalchemist@uterusalchemy.co